After fifty-six of these, I’m really getting burnt out. I’m terrified I’m not presenting anything new to the world, that I’m simply repeating the same schtick as countless others before me, and probably countless others after me. I hate repeating myself, and I don’t care too much for repeating the trite thoughts of others either.
That’s a long-winded way of saying I have nothing new to offer – at least for today. After months of isolation, my brain is overloaded with experiences of the outside world, so much so that I’m having trouble processing my thoughts into coherent and entertaining posts. I could type out a list of random sentences that would be coherent in and of themselves, but not collectively, or they would be fairly boring:
People in my city are incapable of driving in a manner that is safe or non-aggressive. Eight lane highways become concrete-barricaded alleys for a deadly, daily game of bumper cars. I would love to get a smaller, more fuel-efficient vehicle, but in a city that thrives on gigantic SUVs and pickup trucks I would be in constant fear for my life. They don’t see me now in my moderately sized Isuzu Rodeo. They would run right over me in a Mini Cooper or Volkswagen Golf or Chevy Volt. Potentially on purpose. Because if there is anything Texas is known for, its materialistic overcompensation and an automatic hatred for things that are outside the ridiculously antiquated norm.
See? That was coherent, and a bit rant-y, but not entertaining.
For the first time in my life I’m putting a consorted effort into reducing my impact on the world. I try to use less energy around the house: turning off lights, taking shorter showers, using less hot water, putting on a sweater instead of turning up the heat (or, because it has been in the 80’s lately, just going outside). The recycling program in my city is pretty bad, as in they forget to collect the recycling sometimes, or the trash guys dump it with the regular trash. I’m trying to come up with a way to recycle that doesn’t involve me hauling it around in my car to the nearest recycling center. So far I haven’t had much luck, but the search for a solution continues.
While coherent and somewhat educational, that wasn’t very entertaining either. You guys don’t want to hear about my struggles to reduce my carbon footprint in a state that seems determined to destroy as much of the planet as possible. To be honest, I don’t know what you want to hear. The best response I get to this blog is when I post links to other people’s blogs. While I appreciate you coming here to maybe discover cool stuff other people are doing, I also hope you’re coming here to see the cool stuff I’m doing. Which means I need to do cool stuff. Which brings us full circle.
The odd thing is that I don’t feel like taking time off would be a solution. I think that’s the problem. If anything, I think I need to write more. I haven’t learned how to manage my time around the new job yet. When I’m home, I want to write, but I’m overwhelmed so I shut down. Plus, I think you would find my account of my job to be dull. There is only so much you can say about framing artwork. Also, I’m still apprehensive about my position. I know they like me and they like the work I’m doing but because of a computer problem I have no control over, I’m in a sort of limbo. I’ve been hired, but the human resources program doesn’t recognize me as an employee. I can’t train or get paid until the problem is solved. If they can’t pay me, I can’t be scheduled for shifts. So right now I have a job but no idea when I’ll get to go to work again. Yeah, that’s about as stressful as it sounds.
To get back to a lighter note, I do enjoy my job and the people I work with. I was ecstatic to learn that my direct supervisor is a geek, too. She goes to anime conventions and watches Doctor Who and understands my glee at the prospect of seeing Sir Patrick Stewart in May at Dallas Comic Con. Incidentally, DCC and the Free To Breathe 10K are on the same weekend, which is probably only funny to me. I’m sure there has been a day of two opposing events in close proximity such as this, but I can’t think of one in which I have participated. Should be a fun day.
This ridiculous babble is all I have to offer you today. I’ll try to be both coherent and entertaining tomorrow. Until then, DFTBA.