Day One Hundred & Twenty-Five

04 May

As has become a Friday habit, I have nothing new to offer you today yet feel compelled to make an attempt. I could make an excuse (I’m feeling a bit under the weather), but the truth is that I am extremely unmotivated and more than a little discouraged.

My running / weight loss plan has been derailed by illness and injury for the second time in as many months. I have a race in two weeks and I am honestly questioning whether I want to run or not. Two weeks before my last race, I could hardly contain my excitement. Now, I just can’t find the energy.

I’ve come to a point where I will have to make some hard decisions about my life, my work, and this blog. Writing seven posts a week is killing my creative work. I don’t concentrate on writing, submitting, querying; I focus on what I need to do for the blog. That wouldn’t be a problem if I was generating income from the blog, but I’m not. And the things I could be doing to make money are being pushed to the back burner.

It is my fault that the blog, and the year-long experiment, have become more important to me than my could-be-getting-paid work. No one is forcing me to post something new every day. It’s all about me and my commitment to see this through to Day Three Hundred & Sixty-Six. But my compulsion to not break this chain is interfering with other, more important aspects of my life.

The adage is to find something you love to do and you’ll never work a day in your life. I love writing, but I also rather enjoy not living in my car. I love gaming, but I also like eating food, daily if possible. I love running, but I also enjoy having electricity.

If I had a head for business, I would figure out a way to do the things I love and get paid for them. Two problems with that: one, I just don’t have the knowledge and foresight that business-savvy people have; and two, other people have already done what I want to do, and they do it better.

I am a rookie at almost everything I write about on this page. I have been a runner for less than five months. My gaming experience is barely existent. My favorite posts to write – the link collections – have been done and redone all over the net. Part of me wants to go a different way, try something new, see if I can find something no one has done before.

A bigger part of me thinks I should take what I’m doing and run with it. Sure, other people have done or are doing what I do, but I’m the only one who can do it my way. I just have to make my content uniquely mine and not worry about trying to fit into an easily searched category or theme.

And maybe with a little time and a lot of patience, this can be both something I love doing and a source of income. Until then, I need to shift my priorities and bring the “work I love” and the “work that pays” into better balance.

If you have any suggestions, words of encouragement, or haiku about pie I’d love to hear them. Send me a tweet, an email, or leave your pastry-inspired poetry in the comments. And as always, don’t forget to be awesome.

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Posted by on May 4, 2012 in Daily


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