I run on a treadmill that faces a display cabinet, one of those tall, wooden jobs with a glass front used to display long guns. While I run, I watch myself in the glass. The reflection I see is blurred, slightly distorted, and mostly in shadow. I can only see my right side from my arm pit up because of the placement of the light fixture and the height of my treadmill’s display console. With that, it is easy for me to see this blurred image for what it could be, not what it is. It is easy to see what I will look like in a few months, after I have toned up and slimmed down. I can imagine, thanks to that ugly cabinet and the distorted image, what I’m working toward.
It is that image that I keep in my head as the minutes tick by and my calves burn and I want to stop. It is that image that I’m working so hard to achieve. I would have never seen it if it hadn’t been for that damn gun cabinet.
Today is the end of Week 6. It’s been a pretty tough week. I added in some core and upper body exercises so I’m not just focusing on my lower body. I didn’t anticipate how tired that would make me. I’ve also changed my diet, and I think I’m having a hard time adjusting. Whatever the reason, I’m physically exhausted. I’m more than tired – my muscles ache, my joints hurt, I have trouble focusing and remembering the simplest things.
Because of that, I’ve decided to not move on to Week 7. Next week I will repeat the Week 6 part of the routine, then move on to Week 7 the week after that. My body just isn’t ready to try the next harder step. There is a fine line between pushing myself to be better and pushing myself too far. I’m afraid that if I tried to move on right now, I would be risking an injury. I would rather repeat a week than get hurt or get discouraged.
The bright side of this is that I’m finally seeing results on the scale. I dropped 0.6 pounds this week. This is the first week since I started this program that I have lost weight. Now hopefully things will start moving in the right direction. That half-pound has made me more motivated than ever to keep going, keep moving, and get healthy. I’m excited to see what next week brings.